Chen Yao, our dear friend and sister. It has been almost two weeks. We still cannot believe that you have left us. Your beautiful smiling face appears in front of us whenever we close our eyes. Your beautiful voice is surrounding our ears whenever it is quiet. We couldn’t help to think the fun time we had in card games, parties and other occasions. We don’t know when we will ever accept the fact that you have left us. We doubt that we will ever forget your frankness, honest, kindness, your voice and face. Our hearts are broken when we heard about the sad news. We have been feeling sad, sorry and guilty. We were regret that we haven’t done enough to prevent this unfortunate. We were regret that we haven’t done enough to make you feel that we are feeling your pain. We were regret that we haven’t done enough to make you feel that we were behind you to fight every fight. We understood what you have been through. But have you thought about what your friends and family would have to face? You taught us all a great lesson with your precious life. We will treat our families and friends better. We will treat ourselves better. Your life has touched so many people’s heart. So many people, your family, friends and colleagues came to your funeral to say goodbye to you. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers. We understood what a great loss your husband and son have been suffered. We want to let you know that we will continue to do our best to help your husband and son whenever there is a need. We’re missing you, Chen Yao, our dear friend and sister. Wish you rest in peace!!!
Dear Mrs. Chen,
It was a huge loss to all of us when you passed away. Everyone is devastated that you are no longer with us. You were the best Chinese teacher I have ever had. I learned and remembered the most Chinese from you. I have cherished every moment of the Chinese classes I have had with you. They were both fun, and challenging at the same time. You were a great teacher to all of us. You not only taught me Chinese, but you also taught everyone the importance of life, and love. Your warm smile and kind voice will always be remembered. I wish you rest in peace in heaven.
Best wishes,
Ellen
Dear Yao,
Lifeng and I are deeply saddened and very sorry that you left us... What made you leave your friends, mom, sister, your beloved son and husband behind? You were always proud of Zhe and Lao Gao. You had never skipped a chance talking about Gaozhe and Lao Gao in many conversation we had shared.
You were a loving mom to Zhe: I saw the photo of your smiling face when holding him in your arms; you taught him well and raised him up into the handsome adult today. You were satisfied with Zhe’s independence and career success. Still you wondered about his everyday life, you envisioned the type of girl friend Zhe could choose. You tried your very best preparing delicious meals each time Zhe came home visit. You were a caring wife to Lao Gao. You loved Lao Gao in ways that his work, his fame, his siblings, his health and wellbeing were prioritized over yours. You preferred going with Lao Gao for his leisure Ping-Pong tournament matches instead of relaxing at home after a working week. Sometimes when playing card games, you did intentionally sacrifice your chance of winning if you were not in LaoGao’s team. You loved Zhe and Lao Gao with all your heart and strength.
You were one of us! You were a kind and helpful friend to many. You promoted healthy living: walking daily and cooking healthier meals. You talked about making dumplings with chopped fish instead of ground pork, use less fat and more veggies….you helped many to make Baozi using Chinese chives. You rarely forgot contacting your friends, either old or new, near and far. You enjoyed talking with people and you were brave and initiative in making new friends. You would not hesitate to call and share with others about anything including new recipes or sales.
Wish that time could go back in early December 2012 when four of us: Lifeng, I, you and Lao Gao had traveled together to the 7 nights West Caribbean cruise. The ship stopped at Cayman Island, Jamaica and Cozumel. You were cheerful, healthy and relaxed since there were plenty of good foods on board, and adventurous tours off the ship. I remember your excitement, your childlike shouting and singing along with our tour guide when we climbed up the Dunn’s fall in Jamaica. We bought water shoes at a small booth on site but did not bring swim wear. After climbed upstream to the top of the fall with wet clothes, you were happy for being there and done that! You were standing next to me smiling at the camera. We laughed, talked, joked and talked more. One afternoon on sailing at sea, we played card game; I was aimed to defeat Lifeng. After few hours, we lost and you claimed that the ladies wanted the gentlemen to win! Another day on the ship, we watched and cheered for Lifeng and Lao Gao when they were playing against each other for the table tennis championship match. You were like a sister and a wonderful friend. Thanks you for sharing your precious time with us, thank you for bringing us joy, laughter and good memories. You said that we will go at least one trip per year. What made you leave in such a hurry?
On May 16th, we were at Church just started our weekly bible study for the evening; Lifeng received a phone call and left the room immediately. I waited anxiously for Lifeng to tell me what happened. Never expect it’s about you. When Lifeng came home after 11 pm, the moment he said your name, my heart started racing, stomach upsetting. At midnight, Lifeng and I walked outside for a half hour, we asked why? why? why? We were shocked in grief and I pondered myself for an answer. It might be the pain? it should be the pain? it must be the pain!!! The real physical and mental pains inside you that physicians could not see from all the medical tests. You had been suffering from sleepless due to multiple aches and all got too deep to endure. You must be lonely since no one else could feel these pains. You had always been helping others, cooking, cleaning when your physical condition allowed… your pains took away your strength and you could not do these anymore…and you did not want to be a burden... But you were young and we thought you would get better. Wish that we could read your mind, feel your pains. Wish that there were magic pills that would stop all your aches and suffering…wish that I had called you at the darkest moment of your life… I will miss you forever. Take care of youself, find new travel buddies, have fun and rest in peace!
Yao was my son's teacher at the Chinese Language School for several years. My first memories of her were her enthusiastic descriptions of my son and the kids in her class. Her enthusiasm, sincerity, and unreserved laughs raised positive energy in me every time I saw her.
My last memories of Yao were our conversations about her great sufferance from the pain and sleeplessness. I understood that her pain was not from any imagination but from physical illness. I only regret that my words were not persuasive enough to convince her into trying out alternative medicine (which would have an easy cure for her problems) when the traditional western medicine was not helping. When she said she was prepared for the worst, I wasn’t smart enough to figure out the worst thing in her words included voluntary giving up of her life. It was only until I heard about her death did I realize she was such a lady who would rather suffer silently at her own corner or even kill herself than disturbing her family and friends. I wish I knew her better…
Such an always encouraging, always dedicating, and always enduring woman is physically gone, but will continue to live in the memories of those who treasure her.
We first knew Yao in the Church, she gave us much help when shopping for kids at JCP where she works. Then she became our kids's Chinese teacher, she was for sure one of the favirote teachers they had!
